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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041509">Thirty days till I let go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/hancubus/pseuds/hancubus'>hancubus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>3racha - Fandom, Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>3racha is a thing, Angst, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Cheating, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Kim Seungmin is a Good Friend, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Bang Chan, Mentioned Han Jisung | Han, Mentioned Yang Jeongin | I.N, Moving On, but he lets go, felix is hurt, lets be friends, letting go, trainee Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:34:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,419</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29041509</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/hancubus/pseuds/hancubus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing hurts Felix more than watching Changbin fall out of love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thirty days till I let go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>im actually proud i did this in one day. i dont know if i did well, though im kinda proud of myself for finishing this while i still have ideas. this is my first kpop au in this account LOL. i never thougth i would actually finish this because i was kinda focused on mcyt at the moment but here we ARE!  i might say angst but idk if its enough angst, im lightweight and i cant handle too much angst lol, i am also impatient and i like to rush things---therefore the shitty aus. but hey! im still learning! theres room for improvement! and i also use writing aus as a pratice for my english grammar. anyway, hope you guys enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Falling. He liked the feeling of falling. The warm feeling every time you see your special someone. The way your whole world lightens up when you touch. Falling in love is like falling down a rabbit hole. Hard to get out of. </p><p> </p><p>Before, love used to be an irrelevant word. Felix never cared, why would he? Is there anyone worth it to love? Is love worth it? But he let himself fall anyway. It was inevitable, on way or another he would find someone worthy to love. Someone worth all the pain. </p><p> </p><p>He met Seo Changbin. The older flushed in embarrassment and guilt as he gave Felix a napkin. They bumped into each other making ice cream spill all over the younger. Cliche, right? But nothing is better than cliche love stories. Just like those stories, their relationship turned out to be good. A healthy relationship, no toxic exes, no homophobic parents, it was chill. If he was sent to an alternate universe, he will surely do everything just to meet the older again. </p><p> </p><p>The pretty Seo Changbin. The funny guy Seo Changbin. The caring and loving Changbin. He was too good to be true. He seems like he was impossible to reach, but he wasn’t at all. The man was very approachable and kind, Felix can’t just let the opportunity go. So he asked the older out, only to be shocked that the older was thinking the same as him. They just clicked. They were perfect together. The power couple some would say. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” The older would whisper in his ear at night, thinking the younger was asleep. It was cute. It always made Felix’s heart jump. Changbin was too sweet. Too loving. He is perfect. Felix wondered if he was really worth it. And Changbin would answer him with a kiss. “You are.” he whispers into Felix’s hair. Their relationship went for about 3 years. And those 3 years were the best Felix has ever experienced. The sweetest three years full of love and happiness. But you can’t be happy forever. Something bad is bound to happen. </p><p> </p><p>At first it was just a small change. But Felix didn’t worry about it. Why would he when Changbin is already his? They already reached three years, so why would they stop now? </p><p> </p><p>It all started because of a small fight. Changbin was staying up late for his dance rehearsal. Changbin joined an entertainment company with his two best friends Chan and Jisung. They were set to debut so they have to practice dance well. Felix has no problem with that, the thing is, Changbin would come home at 2 am then work on his music, then sleep for 3 hours then go to practice again. Felix scolded him, but Changbin got upset. It wasn’t as big as their other arguments. All Felix did was remind the older to make time for sleep. Make time for him. They barely see each other. The older barely has free time, so they barely hang out. A month passed. Felix could tell Changbin isn’t mad at him. Changbin couldn’t stay mad for too long, and Felix apologized anyway. </p><p> </p><p>“I met this new kids at the company today! Hyunjin and Jeongin, you should meet them some time!” The older continued to ramble about the adorable pair who he met. They sound like they’re good kids based on Changbin’s stories. In the end, Changbin had successfully dragged Felix along with him to meet these lovely people. It turns out that Hyunjin was actually older than Felix, Jeongin a few months younger than them. They hang out for a few hours, wandering around the mall. Window shopping, playing in the arcade. When was the last time they did this? Felix couldn’t remember, but he felt happy they finally had time with each other. But that happiness was short lived.  </p><p> </p><p>Felix forgot about Changbin’s debut. After that, they were back to the usual schedule. Back to the empty apartment. At this point, Changbin should have just brought his bed with him to the company. He only ever visits to sleep and eat, then go back again. They seldom talk and when they do, <br/>Felix just let’s the older rant about his frustrations and then they always end with one particular subject.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, he seems like a very good guy. He has the potential to become an idol, I should ask Chan hyung.” Hyunjin. He’s talking about Hyunjin. He always does. But Felix shrugged it off, it’s just like the admiration he has for Jeongin right? He doesn’t know anymore. </p><p> </p><p><em> “Hyung! Come here quick!” </em> </p><p> </p><p>He heard someone in the background, it must be Chan, or Jisung, those three are inseparable.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that Ji--”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry Lix, I have to go! Jinnie called me, talk to you later, bye!” The older cut Felix off, obviously in a hurry. So it wasn’t Jisung. </p><p>
  <em> beep beep beep </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Bye… I love you.” He whispered. Ignoring the beeping sound. Changbin didn’t even bother to say I love you. But it isn’t a big issue, right? </p><p> </p><p>He was wrong, again. He thought this would be just a one time thing but no, it went on for a few more weeks. Hyunjin interrupting them in the middle of their call, and then the older would end the call only to call again after a day. It was making him mad. Is Hyunjin more worthy of his attention? Does Felix even matter to Changbin? There were some rare times where Hyunjin doesn’t interrupt their quality time, but even without Hyunjin’s presence, he always knows how to ruin the mood. Felix would listen to Changbin talk about Hyunjin. Again and again and again and again. He stayed quiet. There’s nothing he can do. He loves Changbin, so he lets him do what he wants. But it hurts. </p><p> </p><p>Did Changbin forget about him? Is Changbin that dense to notice he is hurting Felix? Is he too fixated on Hyunjin to the point that he forgot that he has a boyfriend? That he has Felix? </p><p> </p><p>Felix knows the feeling. The addicting feeling of falling. And every once in awhile he feels it. The bursts of energy and the thumping of his heart. But what about Changbin? He has no idea. Their once perfect relationship is now starting to crumble. Slowly and silently. Changbin does not say anything but Felix knows. He always does. </p><p> </p><p>Before, Jisung and Chan used to whine about Changbin talking about him all the time. But now, they probably are annoyed about Changbin talking about Hyunjin. Hwang Hyunjin. Felix admits Hyunjin is the prettiest person he has ever met. Beauty isn’t enough. But Changbin seemed to think otherwise. He had attached himself beside the angel faced male, clinging, holding, <em> falling </em> . </p><p> </p><p>“Just… just give me thirty more days… then I’ll go.” he said to no one in particular. He stared at his white ceiling. His thoughts running wild. Changbin isn’t cheating on him right? Especially not Hyunjin. Hyunjin knows they have a relationship, and he wouldn’t ruin it… right? </p><p> </p><p>A week had passed. It was one of the days where Changbin has a day off. His debut rescheduled due to some problems, so his company let them have a 3 day break to compensate. </p><p> </p><p>“I miss you.” He pulled the older closer. The older hummed in response, playing with the strands of his hair. </p><p> </p><p>“I love you.” The older replied. He waits for the warm feeling. But it isn’t there. He waits for the blood to rush to his cheeks, but there was none. Felix felt guilty, but he can’t do anything, because he knows its all a lie. </p><p> </p><p>“Changbin.”  </p><p> </p><p><em> Until when will you keep this act? </em> </p><p> </p><p>“I love you too.” </p><p> </p><p>Felix was wrong. Again. Changbin had to go to the store to buy milk when his phone rang. A notification from Hyunjin. <em> ‘I miss you hyung, please go home quickly :(( ‘ </em> it says. </p><p> </p><p>Home? Isn’t he Changbin’s home? So why did Hyunjin ask the older to come home if he <em> is </em> home? Felix knows the answer yet he doesn’t want to say it out loud. Changbin is home, Hyunjin is just talking nonsense. He tried hard to act normal and cheerful as usual. The older didn’t question even if he did act slightly off. But he doesn’t miss the way Changbin smiled at his phone. Felix only smiles. </p><p> </p><p>“Seungmin, lets have a bet.” He told his cherry-haired friend. Seungmin tilted his head like a curious puppy (he’s adorable). </p><p> </p><p>“What bet, I had no idea you like bets.” The puppy like boy chewed his cheesecake. The cake melting in his mouth-- God! This cafe serves the best cheesecake! </p><p> </p><p>Felix rolled his eyes. “Doing one bet doesn’t mean I’m addicted to it. It’s just a one time thing anyway.” Seungmin only shrugged, muttering something that sounds like  <em> who knows </em> .</p><p>“I bet a hundred won that Changbin is cheating on me.” </p><p> </p><p>“Hmm okay I bet-- WHAT?!” Felix giggled. Seungmin is really cute. He giggled at the red face of his friend. His face almost as red as his cherry hair. “You…” what surprised him was Seungmin crying. His tears flowing down his cheeks as he pulled Felix for a hug. Felix’s heart warmed. </p><p> </p><p>“Minnie?” </p><p> </p><p>“You are so stupid!” The younger squeezing him “Hey! You act like you are in my position! Don’t cry Minnie, everything will be okay.” He laughed. Taking the cherry-haired boy’s cheeks in his hands and wiped his tears. </p><p> </p><p>“Fuck you! I should be the one telling you that!” Seungmin punched him jokingly. </p><p> </p><p>“But I’m not the one crying am I?” They hang out for the rest of the day, both silently agreeing to never talk about the bomb Felix dropped. And he was thankful. Seungmin is the sweetest and the most understanding when it comes to this. </p><p> </p><p>Felix almost forgets. It has been 3 weeks. 21 days. 9 more and he can be free again. Changbin can love who he wants to, Felix could be his wingman, he could be the bridge, for Hyunjin and Changbin. Even with his optimistic thoughts, he started to hesitate. Shouldn’t he fight for Changbin? He is still Changbin’s boyfriend after all. But that doesn’t count since Changbin doesn’t consider it anymore. If only he had the courage to confront the two about it. But he knows that once he asks the question he will lose. Felix knows Changbin will choose Hyunjin over him. Why would he search for someone new if he was content, right? So Felix decides to keep quiet. He’d rather leave on his own than hear Changbin say the word <em> “I’m sorry.” </em></p><p> </p><p>One more day. One more day until he leaves, so he decided today can be the day he says goodbye. After packing all his things, he called Seungmin to get his bags and bring it to his cherry-haired friend’s apartment. He made his way to Changbin’s company. He wondered where to find Hyunjin but it wasn’t hard when he saw the two walking together. They weren’t holding hands but you can surely feel the warm aura around them and the heart eyes they throw to each other. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” he waved, Changbin freezing as soon as their eyes met. Hyunjin looked down unable to meet Felix’s eyes. “Can I talk to you guys?” </p><p> </p><p>The three of them sat at a table in the company’s cafeteria. The atmosphere was light with a mix of awkward tension emitting from Changbin and Hyunjin. Felix smiled as he gave orders to the waiter before he faced the pair. </p><p> </p><p>“So, how are you two?” He asked, no malice in his voice, just genuine curiousity. Hyunjin looked up, still not making eye contact but smiled. “I’m doing good, how about you?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m doing good to.” he smiled. The angel-faced boy now slightly less afraid. </p><p> </p><p>“Why… why are you here exactly.” Changbin asked. Felix smiled at the older, his eyes immediately turning into crescents. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, actually I’m here to say that, I’m moving out.” Changbin sat dumbfounded. “What…” </p><p> </p><p>“I decided to move out. I guess the apartment is not as nice as it was before, and I’m kinda feeling homesick, I already planned to visit mom, in fact my flight is tomorrow. I thought I just had to let you know.” There was silence. Hyunjin looked down, clearly guilty.</p><p> </p><p>“That isn’t the real reason… right?” Felix only smiled. Confirming Changbin’s assumption. “So… you knew.” his eyes watering. </p><p> </p><p>“I always do Changbin. I always do.” He wiped the older’s tears. He isn’t supposed to be sad. He was supposed to be happy right now to get the weight off his shoulders. He just saved Changbin from more pretending. He did the right thing, right? </p><p> </p><p>“You know that I love you right?” The older now clutched Felix’s hand. </p><p> </p><p>“I know.” But both of them know that the love Changbin feels isn’t the same as Felix’s as he had fallen out of love. Falling in love is really like falling down a rabbit hole, it will be hard to get out . But it isn’t impossible.</p><p> </p><p>“T-thank you.” Hyunjin said in a small voice. </p><p> </p><p>Hyunjin is selfish, so is Felix. But he is already past that. Felix couldn’t bring himself to hate the angel-faced male when Changbin looks so happy next to him. It made him happy that he chose the right decision. Letting go to make way for more deserving people. He can just find love again.  </p><p> </p><p>“Please take care of him.” He stood up and opened his arms, beckoning Hyunjin to come forward  for a hug. The older immediately accepted his invite. Burying his face in Felix’s shoulder, muttering a bunch of sorry’s and thank you’s. Next was Changbin, the older now sobbing at the fact that no matter how wrong he was, Felix was still selfless and forgiving to let go. He does love Hyunjin, but Felix? He was Changbin’s world, well, used to be. But he was once Changbin’s everything, and this made the older doubt his decisions. </p><p> </p><p>“See you soon! And good luck on your debut hyung. You too Hyunjin.” The freckled boy exited the cafe with a smile in his face. He finally set Changbin free. He knows deep inside, he could’ve fought back, but no. He will not waste his time rebuilding a relationship that’s nowhere near repair. They might not have suffered a toxic relationship but Felix knows, Changbin will never love him again. </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t’ have any regrets, leaving all the bad memories behind. And when he reaches his mom’s house, maybe he could finally cry.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>what do you think?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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